If you're thinking that kids are coming to your birthday parties because they want to bowl, you need to re adjust your thought. They're coming to celebrate the one day of the year, where they receive all the attention from the people they care about the most. It's a day where they can have fun, feel special and be the envy of all their friends. In fact, next to Christmas, it's the one day of the year that kids look forward to the most.

Ever wonder what’s going on inside the head of your guest? Birthday University did a research project at an indoor / outdoor family entertainment center’s birthday party. After observing the entire party, we interviewed the party Mom to find out thoughts what went through her head. Here is her story, exactly as she perceived the party experience, from beginning to end.

"When I asked my nine year old son where he wanted his birthday party this year, I cringed when he responded, "______ fun center." I wasn’t familiar with this business, nor had I ever been there, except to drop him off at a friend’s party. I wasn’t looking forward to the typical disorganization and chaos I’ve experienced in the past at these places. So I tried to talk him out of it. After trying to persuade him in another direction with other suggestions, I realized his mind was set, on what he thought was a ... the really "Cool" place to go. Reluctantly I made the call to get the information on booking his party there.

Expecting the worst, I was pleasantly surprised at the professionalism and reassurance that the party coordinator gave me, when I first called to book my son’s party. She was cheerful, informative and addressed all my concerns. She took her time and informed me about everything I needed to know: What to do. How the party was going to flow and what my part was. I was pleasantly surprised after mentioning it would be hard for me to pick up the invitations and she offered to mail them to my home.

When I hung up, I felt comfortable and assured everything was going to be handled, so I didn’t need to worry. In fact I felt excited about the level of service the party coordinator committed to me. Especially thinking back at some of the party nightmares I’ve experienced in the past.

About a week later my initial confidence began to wane, when I still hadn’t received the invitations in the mail. Upon calling ___________ fun center, the party coordinator remembered me and was very apologetic. She explained that they ran out of invitations and didn’t get their new shipment from the printer. She told me to pick out and purchase invitations from any store I desired. Even though she offered to reimburse me, I wasn’t very happy with the fact that I now had to rush out to get them, when I thought it was suppose to be taken care of. This was the start of my feeling doubt and uncertainty and also the familiar, unpleasant feeling of pre-party stress.

Good news, two days before the party, my husband asked me (As if it just clicked into his head) "Have we heard anything back or gotten anything in the mail about Joey’s party?" I was happy to report that someone had called to ensure us that everything was on schedule. They asked if the party size changed and if we wanted to add any other options or food to the party. With everything that happened up to that point, I was relieved knowing they still had us on the books and was glad to avoid more stress from my husband telling me, "You better check on it, you know what happened the last time.

On the day of the party, my kids (Dad included) were very excited. I, on the other hand was still anxious because of past the circumstances, but hoped I would regain that initial feeling of confidence. Unfortunately, when I arrived I felt immediate disappointment. It was very busy and there was no greeting for myself or my son. I didn’t know where to go or what to do next. I didn’t know which guests had arrived or where they were. This disappointment brought back a flood of memories, that gave me a sudden chill down my spine. "Oh no ... not again." This place is beginning to look like all the others. I knew I’d have to take over, if I didn’t want this party to fall apart.

When I finally found the birthday desk, there was a line where I found two other boys from the party waiting. Everyone that was there, got checked in and received ride bands. The group went over by the games to wait for the others. After a few moments, boredom set in and they became restless. I gave each of them a few tokens to fill the time.

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed two other boys that I recognized might be part of our party, waiting in the birthday register line. Leaving the party group, I felt it my responsibility to go over to help get the kids checked in. They were anxious to join up with the group, their parents seemed somewhat annoyed that no one told them what to do and that they had to wait in the line. They were already frustrated by getting there late, now they had to wait and their kids were missing the party. I told them I would take care of getting them situated if they planned on leaving. We waited for a few people ahead of us from other parties. The rest of the party group was out in the park somewhere, doing who knows what. As the boys got restless, I got more and more frustrated. Finally, we made it to the front of the line. It got worse. The phone rang. The attendant picked up and began talking. It must have been someone wanting to book a party. It was a lengthy conversation and a long application process, before she took care of us. I felt myself going beyond stressed out and frustrated, directly to aggravated and angry. Not only were the boys missing the party, but so was I! I can’t imagine what it would have been like if the boys were younger and the entire group had to wait for the late kids to get settled.

When we finally met up with the party in progress, the group was standing around, with everyone wanting to go in different directions. They had everything kids love to do, deciding on which to do first soon added to early confusion. As we started to walk over to different rides, I was truly frustrated to find out that some kids made the height restriction and others did not. This created an unfortunate division. The party group had to split up into different ride lines. I wasn’t very happy, trying to keep an eye on both groups and felt bad for the kids that could not make the cut. You could see the disappointment in their eyes, not to mention the birthday child who felt the tension, as half the group was in another line. The flow of the party continued to go down hill as different kids finished different rides, at different times. It was too hard for them to wait for the others, so they kept going onto other rides. The group never came together for the entire time. I became exhausted worrying about where everyone was, after all I was responsible for these kids. It didn’t take long to give into the inevitable feeling that this party was not going to be what I expected when I booked it. My new goal, try to hold it together for my son, so he wouldn’t feel the same feelings I was. I tried as best I could, hoping my son was having fun on his special day, even though the kids never stayed together.

As this part of the party ended and we headed for the party room. I wondered, why I didn’t feel great about the experience so far. They had everything my child loves to do, the rides were fun, they were well maintained, safely and professionally operated and clean, yet I still walked away feeling slighted.

We arrived in the party room about five minutes after the scheduled start time. It was a little unusual that I had to keep track of the time our group had to be in the party room. I wondered what would happen if you lost track of time or were stuck waiting in line and missed the start time. The Party room was clean, but plain, not quite like what I ‘d do at home, but passable. The attendant was pleasant and on cue, serving the pizza as soon as we arrived, hot and fresh. Just as I started to gain new confidence, it began to waver again. In fact, I noticed that as the kids were eating pizza it went silent. I’ve never experienced that at a party before. It felt uncomfortable that there was no interaction, no effort to make the birthday child feel special and even no music. If I were asked to describe this party thus far, it would be "Vanilla" bland, dull, plain, boring or mediocre at best.

If I didn’t take over and add some spice, it would’ve been a very disappointing party for my child. I couldn’t let what was suppose to be an important fun memory, turn into a disappointing one. So I took over, talking with the kids, playing a cake eating game, organizing the opening of the presents and recording my own gift list. On more than one occasion I thought to myself, "What am I paying for? I’m doing all the work.

Thinking back to what they told me at the booking, "Everything was going to be taken care of" ....this was a far different experience.

Just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse ... it did. One of the boys mentioned, he didn’t see the present he brought opened up. He gave it to the girl at the register when he first got there. When confronting the attendant, she was a little frazzled and said she needed to get her manager (who was very busy rushing around with other crisis situations around the facility). After five minutes of trying to keep the kids distracted, I began feeling unimportant and forgotten. It was time once again to take control and solve my own problem or wait and continue to get upset.

They never found the present, but assured me they would take responsibility. The party manager was very understanding and apologetic. Even though they handled the problem as well as I could expect, I still felt disappointed and frazzled leaving the party room and feeling so out of control.

By the time I got back to the party, the group had moved out of the party room, on the instruction of the party attendant, stating there was another party coming in the room soon and they needed to set up. Upset by not knowing who was still there and who already left, I was not able to give out the party bags I had prepared or able to thank the parents personally, for coming. This left me with an empty feeling and no closure. I felt a complete let down from what I expected, to what actually happened. It wasn’t at all what I had envisioned after talking with the person who booked my party and told me everything would be take care of. I ended up doing too much of the work and had no control over the outcome. I won’t be telling too many about this place, other than I don’t think it was worth the money."

"All Said and done...I was disappointed, not only for myself but also for my son. I thought it was an average party at best ... and will not likely return"

A child’s birthday is a special once-a-year event, that has a lot of pressure and emotional feeling attached. Next to Christmas, it is the most anticipated day of the year for both children and adults alike. Careful consideration and planning have gone into the decision to trust this important day to your facility. Like first impressions there are no second chances. The only thing that matters to party parents, is what’s happening right now ... at "their" child’s birthday party. She doesn’t care about anything that happened before or what’s going on after ... unless it effects her party. You get one shot at getting it right. There are no "do-overs".

Children’s’ birthdays are the one day of the year that parents want to make up for all the things they have been unable to do for their kids. This day holds many good and bad memories of their own childhood birthday experiences. It’s a day where they want to see their child as happy as they can be. It’s a day where they will be evaluated as a good or bad parent, by their toughest critic...themselves. Did they make the right choice? Did they let their child down? Could they have done it better themselves?

Remember this ... when you sign up to host birthday parties, it’s your responsibility to make the day special for the birthday child and perfect for party parents by eliminating all frustration, not creating more of it.